


Oblivion in a Handbasket: A Daedric Chatfic

by Lulzy (likelolwhat)



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Auto Correct, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 08:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17845571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likelolwhat/pseuds/Lulzy
Summary: ShadowsQueen: Whatever. Where the fuck is Mephala she’s supposed to be hereclavicle: probs still making her username perfectShadowsQueen: Speaking of you know that’s a bone rightAn ESO AU where everything's pretty much the same... except the Daedra communicate via an interdimensional chatroom. There will be hijinks. There will be swearing. There will be petty bullshit. Because when you've been around almost as long as the Aurbis itself has been A Thing, you get receipts.





	Oblivion in a Handbasket: A Daedric Chatfic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SoulStealer1987](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulStealer1987/gifts).
  * Inspired by [If Skyrim Had Chatrooms...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14194119) by [SoulStealer1987](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulStealer1987/pseuds/SoulStealer1987). 
  * Inspired by [If Skyrim Had Chatrooms...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14194119) by [SoulStealer1987](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulStealer1987/pseuds/SoulStealer1987). 



> I HAVE ~~NO~~ SO MANY REGRETS
> 
> Mild spoilers for the Summerset chapter (literally just the first quest), the Morrowind chapter, and the Clockwork City DLC.
> 
> With much love to [my enabler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulStealer1987/pseuds/SoulStealer1987). I promise I'll eventually get around to all the references <3

_ **TheTriad** _

< **ShadowsQueen** > logged on

< **clavicle** > logged on

**ShadowsQueen** : WTF just happened

**clavicle** : wat u mean

**ShadowsQueen** : What the FUCK is what I mean

**ShadowsQueen** : Your earl’s dead

**clavicle** : s not how I left him

**ShadowsQueen** : Some mortal with a rusty iron sword hacked him to death

**clavicle** : who

**ShadowsQueen** : Hold on lemme pull it up

**ShadowsQueen** : Wall-Breaker. Sounds argonian

**clavicle** : sounds like my kind of mortal tbh

**ShadowsQueen** : Really, clavicle?

**ShadowsQueen** : clavicle*

**clavicle** : not my name

**clavicle** : but go off I guess

**ShadowsQueen** : Fucking autocorrect

**ShadowsQueen** : CLAVICUS

**clavicle** : wat

**ShadowsQueen** : Nothing. Your earl’s dead. Congratulations

**clavicle** : his souls mine either way

**clavicle** : its like an early summoning day present

**ShadowsQueen** : …

**clavicle** : u rly just type tht out

**ShadowsQueen** : Nevermind. How the fuck did you get as far with Vivec as you did

**clavicle** : y did u choke in clockwork city

**ShadowsQueen** : MY OWN SERVANTS BETRAYED ME

**clavicle** : lol

**ShadowsQueen** : Whatever. Where the fuck is Mephala she’s supposed to be here

**clavicle** : probs still making her name perfect

**ShadowsQueen** : Speaking of you know that’s a bone right

**clavicle** : u no wat fk u

**clavicle** : barbas set it up to mk me look dumb

**clavicle** : stupid dog

**ShadowsQueen** : And now you can’t change it can you

**ShadowsQueen** : The Court may have betrayed me but at least I don’t rely on them for everything

**clavicle** : fk. u.

**Mephala** : As amusing as your personal squabbles are, don’t we have work to do?

**clavicle** : wtf

**ShadowsQueen** : hOw long have you been here

**Mephala** : The entire time. Watching. Waiting.

**clavicle** : no way

**ShadowsQueen** : That’s impossible

**Mephala** : You didn’t see me log on, did you? Because I’ve been here the whole time.

**ShadowsQueen** : Fuck

**clavicle** : creeper

**Mephala** : Guilty. Now, as the one here with the least number of utter failures, I should probably be in charge, no?

**ShadowsQueen** : Nope

< **ShadowsQueen** > logged off

**clavicle** : no

**clavicle** : fk no

< **clavicle** > logged off

**Mephala** : A shame.

**Mephala** : I wonder if they even noticed.

**Author's Note:**

> ShadowsQueen = Nocturnal  
> clavicle = Clavicus Vile  
> Mephala as herself


End file.
